i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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