Having a random hookup so left but love u
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
