i may or may not be watching the land before time
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
