I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize