I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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