Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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