Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
