Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
