Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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