I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
