those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
