my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
