we have pet lesbian snakes
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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