We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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