My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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