his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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