Christians are straight up FREAKS
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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