i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
