He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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