Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
