I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
