I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am available for nakedness
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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