Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
