so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
