idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
