I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize