You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
