Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
