Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
