she woke up with a sticky ear
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
