i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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