I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize