Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize