so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
