this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
