Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
