The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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