We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My liver just broke up with me...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
