do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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