I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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