brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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