Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
