Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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