We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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