And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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