I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
