Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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