once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
