So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
