I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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