no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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