I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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