I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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