So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
