I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my penis made a compromise with my morals
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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