Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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